my deadly weekend :(

assalamualaikum, hi people!

So I drove back from Madison, Wisconsin as we had our Midwest Game held there this year. It was an eight hour drive and I took the second shift driving from Chicago to Ann Arbor which was around four hour drive.Without getting enough rest after the long journey, I attended my review class for calculus that I'm having my midterm on the next day at 8 am. So after the review, I went to my Bio lecture and ended sleeping after the class which ended at 4pm. I remember setting the alarm to wake up at 5pm so that I could freshen up and start studying for my Calculus midterm. I also have a senior friend that was willing to help me studying. But when I woke up, I looked at my phone, it was 5am in the morning!! I had around 3 hours to study for this deadly exam. I came out of the exam hall promising myself not to do this stupid thing again.damnn.. Anyway, the exam wasn't that bad and the midwest game was good. I mean like, this was the first time U of Michigan had ever sent a women soccer team before and we managed to proceed to semi final, which was good enough for newbies. Anyway, I gotta get back to my Bio work, which I have a midterm on tomorrow. Pray for my success please!

P/s: 26 more days!! :D

Assalamualaikum :)

This people.. is what I call courage.. Not..

So I am supposed to study for my Bio 172 this evening but I am gonna take a break and write this just because it is too good.

I had my first Bio 172 lecture yesterday and it was a class of 100 ish people. I think. So my professor was trying to get everyone to participate so she asked a bunch of questions and offered chocolate to those who got the answers right.

So there was this question about two atoms of very different electronegativities, what kind of bond would you say happen between these two atoms. Everyone was really quiet. So I raised my hand and answered polar attraction. I was 80% sure that my answer was correct but a weirdo sitting in front of me abruptly say out loud 'No, you're wrong!' and he answered the right answer which is ionic bond. Still, a class full of 100 students were looking at me while that guy was saying 'No, you're wrong?' .

That was the award winning most awkward thing that had happened in my life. And my new life goal now is to beat this guy in Bio 172. Like seriously, I'll take any chances that I have to embarrass him back.

:(

i'm not writing this blog to impress anyone nor i'm writing this to gain any attention. I'm doing it to let out what I've been facing or what I've faced before.. Not all of them are fond memories or thoughts. Let's just say that this blog is where I just throw all my feelings out..

Today was a very sad day. A friend of mine lost her father. My deepest condolences to her and her family. Innalillah wainalillah hirajiun.

It was raining the whole day too. I helped my friend pack his stuff. He's going back to Malaysia in a few days. I am not though. I am staying in Ann Arbor for Spring semester, then I'm heading back home.

So tomorrow Phi Rho Alpha is going to have a barbecue. All the sisters are more than welcome to invite their close friends and family. I invited two of my girlfriends over because most of them are going on a road trip. So, the road trip got cancelled and I felt bad about not inviting the others. I went through a lot of trouble trying to get them on the list for the barbecue. Then, they decided to make another road trip at the same time and just ditch this whole thing. Then saying something like ' I could pay if you can't get me off the list'.

I was quite disappointed. I went a whole lot of trouble and all you could think of is that I want your money. Hell to the no. I might sound irrational or overly emotional but this thing means a lot to me, this whole sorority thing and you, young lady as my friend, I would like you to know what I got myself into and all I need from you is your support. I was there through your ups and downs. Why can't you be there for mine?

I don't know, it just hurts me a lot. :(

my blog new design!!!

This might sound a bit lame..

But my blog has a new design!!and also a new name!

'of sweet dreams and reality..'

which is true because all my posts were based on my life, thoughts and dreams:)

and the new design is a lot simpler than the previous one..

Also, if you noticed, I removed all my gadgets including my photos. Not that I don't like the photos anymore, I just feel that it was too crowded.

I have also added a few new features that instead of just commenting, you guys could also rate my posts be it lame, awesome or so true.. I just feel that it would be a lot more fun this way :)

Enjoy!

failure.

assalamualaikum and salam sejahtera,

It's been awhile since I posted my last entry. I think it was about my limitation and how the potential in me is never ending. I know I didn't say much in the my last post but I really think that it is very true. First of all, we must know our own limits. Well of course, everyone wants to push themselves and bring themselves up to a whole new level. But when the thing that they were working on is not keeping up, it will soon lead to failure. Failure is the root of success, but if we are assigned to succeed, failure is never an option. What do you feel about failing? Truth be told, no one likes failing. And the secret is, failing is the best secret weapon that we need in order to succeed. The one who fails the most is the one who succeed. I don't know how I feel about this right now. I want to be able to fail and get back up at my own pace. It is not a sin, it's a learning process.

:)

well of course i have limitations. But pssstt.. here's the secret.. the potential in me to improve is endless... just saying..

unreasonably stressed out :(

So why do I disappear when you come near,

It makes me feel so small,

If I could read your mind,

Boy would I find, any trace of me at all.

This could be the funniest and the most unreasonable thing ever but I can never be with someone who is sooo much smarter than me. It creeps me out somehow. So, I have a really good 'friend' that I kinda like and we've been to my sorority's Date Party together (him as my date) last weekend. How do I know him? Well, he's my study group leader for organic chemistry honors section and he is majoring in neuroscience (super genius guy) He's a cool and fun guy, all my sisters likes him (including my sisters' dates too) So this thing has been bugging me because my sisters kept on telling me that I should go for him because he's so much fun and very good looking guy too. They were quite surprised when i told them that we're just friends. It'll be super awkward because he IS my study group leader so no. Jessica, my future roommate, said that 'he's not gonna be your study group leader forever, you know' . That makes sense but he's just too smart.Not that I don't like smart guys but really he makes me feel so small whenever we were discussing about organic chemistry , I feel kinda dumb around him (i'm not, really, i'm pretty smart, but he somehow makes me feel like I am) So , I've been really stressed out lately, and it's all because of him , I studied so hard to somehow impress him? I don't know what I was doing but I know that I didn't wanna look dumb. In a way, it's a good thing but it's sooo stressful . I love smart guys but Chemistry is my thing!

Please ignore this post if it makes you think that I'm paranoid.

Finals are OVERRRRRR!!!!!

I am now done with Organic Chemistry, Ancient Greek and Anthropology Archaeology! yay me!! I am so happy right now.... Not Really..

I have to admit it.. I kinda did some silly, irresponsible things. Like forgetting to hand in my Summary for lab, which would significantly affect my grade. Damn, I'm such a moron. I finished my summary, peer reviewed it and the only thing that I had to do was to change minor mistakes and send it in. But I forgot, totally. I think I have Alzheimer. Now, I have to face the consequences. NO MORE PROCRASTINATING ZERA! NO MORE! urghhh.. i'm a dead meat right now! and I didn't have to take my final paper for Archaeology because even if I have scored full mark 50/50, I wouldn't have increased my grade. The exams are only weigh for 30% and the projects are 40%. I did two projects. I did pretty good in my second project until my laptop made really scary noises and I kinda shut it off right away and lost my project. So I spent the last 5 hours before the due redoing my project and I got a really sucky grade for it..darn. Organic Chemistry? I don't wanna talk about it:( it was really hard and it's the most failed class in U of M. damn it.

So, we just have to wait for the results to get in probably next week? and I have already registered for the classes that I'm gonna take for Winter semester. My schedule is pretty packed. I'm going to take Organic Chemistry II, Calculus 3, Inorganic Chemistry and Roman History. We'll see how it goes. :)

religion differences.

So we had our discussion during lecture today about Alexander the Great.

As we all know, Alexander the Great received ' the Great' title when he conquered Persia as the kings of Persia were known for their greatness. He was married to Roxane when he fell in love with when he conquered Sogdia. After he had conquered Persia, he got married to a Persian princess ( Darius' daughter) so that they could produce a mixed hire to unite the different nations.

one of the student raised up his hand: So he married twice?

professor: yes, they pro-polygamy back then which is very barbaric.

me: barbaric? wtf?

i have a new play date! :)

haha.. okay, the topic to this entry might sounds wrong to some but really, I am talking about the real play date! yay me!

As I mentioned earlier(in my previous entries), there is a few Malaysians working and having family here. So, one of them is Abang Azmi, with his wife, Kak Ayu and his super cute daughter, Qistina.(she's four!)

I met them during Aidilfitri but Qistina was so shy back then. She only played with the seniors and she couldn't even remember my name well.

We had thanksgiving yesterday and Kak Deng cooked us turkey and a lot of other awesome thanksgiving meals. Qistina was there too! She brought her coloring books and barbie dolls with her. We had a chit chat and she started to call me Kak Zera.. like super cute in her american accent. lol.. her parents were trying to teach her Malay ever since she started talking but she'd rather speak in English. so i kinda tried to make her speak in Malay but she refused to talk in Malay and make me look like a retard talking alone.. lol

There's one time Qistina came to me:

Qistina: knock knock

me: who's there?

Qistina: Qistina !

me: Qistina who?

Qistina: Qistina monsterawrrrrrrr

me : huh?? what??

Abang Azmi: you're supposed to rawr back at her and scare her away..

me: really?? hahahaha

haha.. yup, i forgot my childhood. anyway, when I was about to leave the house, Qistina run and hugged me..it was super cute! Kak Ayu was glad that she's close to me now and she wants me to spend more time with Qistina in the future. FO SHO Kak Ayu! how can i say no to something so lovable. :)